Saturday, December 31, 2011

2011: THE GOOD, THE BAD and the F'n RIDICULOUS (Part 1)

Here we is...Here we is. Welcome 2012!!!! Last night, I personally took the year 2011 down to my hidden, sound proof basement, and did everyone I know a favour. I tortured, killed, and then with trusty chainsaw in hand, chopped up that fucking year, a la Dexter. You're more than welcome. Alas, that does bring us to the subject of this entry, yup...yet another year end review/ lists/awards thingy-thing-thing. It's been such a fucked up year for a good majority of the citizens of this deteriorating blue planet, that I'll never be able to do it justice. Still...the fans demand it (you must have seen all the angry crowds on the news), so who am I to deny them?

Like I said, there will be lists, awards, op-ed rants of all the important news headlines of last year...and if there's time, I may even do a lil' song and dance routine for y'all. Let's just start with a biggy, get this baby right out of the way.

And now this year's DAMMY Award for "The Most Fucking Ridiculous Food, Plant, Place, Person or Thing", goes too (drum roll please)...Toronto Mayor Rob Ford!!!!!! I know...I know...if you live outside of Canada, you're now going, "Huh? Whooooo?", and for that I apologize, but for my fellow Torontonians, they totally understand how and why he easily walked away with this prestigious honor. Take a bow big fella. Look I can be here forever, describing him, and all his boneheaded moves, but to help you Americans out a bit (see most recent photo of famed Toronto Mayor above)...take one of your far right wingnut candidates vying for Presidency, give them a partial frontal lobotomy, add a good deal of weight, remove their neck, tighten their tie...and you have our award winning right honorable mayor. Like your Republicans, and fellow Tea Partiers, he has finally proven the out-there theory, that dumb, ignorant and stupid, is, in fact, the "New Genius"! You get the picture, right?

Moving right along....let's do a little of the ol' "Love/Hate" list-a-majig that you all love so well....

LOVE...the way that social media like Facebook and Twitter have played such a gigantic role in helping those protesters, especially in the heavily censored middle east, win their revolutions over power-hungry, greedy, blood -thirsty tyrants, dictators and regimes.

HATE...the way that social media has become so powerful, so adored, slobbered and made love to by the masses, that it has practically killed real human contact, and destroyed one of mankind's greatest inventions, the art of the stimulating conversation (you know who you are...shame on you!).

LOVE...watching the news. I am a certifiably, grade A, government inspected news and information junkie. That's why I'll always beat your ass, but bad, in Trivial Pursuit, NTN, or a good ol' fashion bar argument that the winner has a pint comin' to them.

HATE...watching any news program that treats Battle of the fucking Blades, or The Bachelor, or American Idol as a news story. NO! THIS IS NOT A NEWS ITEM...IT'S A FUCKING COMMERCIAL FOR A PROGRAM THAT WILL BE ON THE AIR LATER, ON YOUR SHITTY, GODFORSAKEN CHANNEL!!!! I'm basically down to PBS and BBC news. I mean, they're the only one's left that realize that a protest in Libya is more important than who's gonna be the next loser off the fucking island!

Let's go back to the DAMMY's, shall we...........

BEST MOVIE OF THE YEAR: (envelope please) Oh!!!! For the first time in our long (????) history it's a tie! The winners are... THE TREE OF LIFE and THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO!!!! Yes, two very different films, made by two of the best directors of our time, Terrance Malick and David Fincher, respectively. Both are masters of great visuals and atmosphere. Both films also have something else in common...both are either loved very, very much...or detested very, very much!!!! There is no middle ground in this one. Now, if you're one of the aforementioned haters of these 2 films, and wonder why I would put them right at the top of the list, there's an easy answer. I have great taste in film...and you have shitty taste, and wouldn't know a good movie if it hit you with a 2 by 4!!!! Now scat...don't even argue with me...just go watch your Transformers 4 , or any movie that Kate Hudson stars in (not including Almost Famous, of course). God, I love being condescending and holier than thou when it comes to movies!

Now to be fair, there are so many movies that I have yet to see that have gotten great reviews,
eg; The Artist, Hugo, Carnage, Shame, Drive, and at least another dozen...but those two were easy winners out of what I've seen this year. Actually, I wholeheartedly agree with what I've read from more than one film critic, this has been a year full of great performances...but not Great films.

WORST MOVIE of the YEAR: TRESPASS, starring Nick Cage, and Nicole Kidman. WHAT?????!...Look with Cage you gotta go in knowing that there's a 96.3 % chance that it's gonna stink to high heaven, but NICOLE????!!!! Huh??!!! Did you really need the money THAT badly????!!!

BEST TV SHOW of the YEAR: BREAKING BAD ('nuff said, but it would be nice if Mad Men got over it, and came back on the air!)

WORST TV SHOW of the YEAR: Look buddy, you don't have the time, nor I, the space, to list them all...there's a good chance that if it's on network television, it's on the list. Excluded, is NBC's Prime Suspect. No, not even close to the BBC's version, which starred the incredibly gifted Helen Mirren, but for an American network show...not bad at all.

BEST BURGER I'VE HAD ALL YEAR: The house special burger (rare) at Allen's on the Danforth, in Toronto. It's probably the only burger I had all year (What? I told ya I was eating better this/last year), but it was such an orgasmatronic-heavenly dining experience that it still brings saliva to my mouth just at the thought of it. In fact I'm drooling as I type (you really didn't want to picture that, did ya?).

BEST MARTINI of the YEAR: INSOMNIA (563 Bloor St. W. at Bathurst, in Toronto)

BEST BARTENDER of the YEAR Who Understands What Ya Mean, When You Say "Dirty, With Extra Olives", and Still Refuses to Flirt Back at You, Though She Has Her Reasons: DAMARA HUYNH (Insomnia)
...and No,neither Damara, nor Insomnia have paid me in any way for this publicity...thoughhhhhhhhhhh it wouldn't hurt them either, if they started sending over a few martinis or tequila shots, gratis, as I sit there at the end of the bar, sketching, writing, or hopelessly hitting on someone.

Now, Ive been hearing through the grapevine (by the name of Elaine) that my blogs are too long...soooooooo....we'll end part 1, here...and I'll post part 2, tomorrow, or next week, or..............

I leave you with my only mantra/resolution for 2012:

"Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go."
-T.S. Elliot

Thursday, July 7, 2011


Here's a nifty idea...though it can also be seen as laziness on my part (you decide). You know those books that are published posthumously (after the author has passed away Einstein!)? Take the late, great David Foster Wallace (he of Infinite Jest fame), who just had a fine, brand new novel, The Pale King, published, though he committed suicide in 2008. Or, how's about the long dead author of the "Millennium" series, (a.k.a., that cute, tattooed punk/goth babe), Stieg Larsson, who may or may not have a new novel out...eventually. The publishers of said series, are in talks and in court, trying to get their hands on a supposed three quarters of a fourth novel in the series, on a laptop now in the possession of his partner, Eva. She has stated that finishing the book is a task she is capable of doing. Can you say, Ka-ching...Ka-ching...Ka-ching???!!!

"So? What Joey? Planning to write a book? To die soon?" Not exactly...though as Gilbert Grape was fond of saying, "I can go at any time." I was interviewed in May for a new arts and culture magazine called, ARTizone. I believe they were aiming for a Canadian version of JUXTAPOZ magazine (one of the best art mags out there), but alas, I just heard that the project has been "shelved for the time being". T
hus, my interview has been banished to a Hell where unwanted magazine stories and interviews go to be tortured for all eternity.

So...I didn't die, but looks like the magazine did. But wait...I do have the "famous ARTizone interview manuscript" (what? Okay...not exactly famous...Yet!), that was never published, hidden away in my hard drive..."GASP!", you say (or maybe not)! See...note how I was trying to tie it all into the "published posthumously
" thing, and with a twist to boot. Daddy knows you like those twists at the end.

The Strange Case of Joey DAMMIT!: The ARTizone Interview

I met the infamous Canadian Pop artist Joey DAMMIT! in his favourite neighborhood drinking establishment in downtown Toronto. Surprisingly, for an artist, he was not only on time, but was already there when I arrived, sitting at the bar, talking up an attractive bartender, and nursing what he insisted really was his first martini. Aside from the bartender, and a couple having lunch in the far corner table, the place was deserted. Perfect for a one on one interview. DAMMIT!, I have to admit, has been one of my favourite contemporary artists in the country for some time now, though we had never met before. He seemed to be in a particularly talkative mood (not out of the ordinary, or so I've been told), the Motown tunes were sounding great, and he had already ordered me my very own martini, so I was more than raring to go.

Where were you born?

I was born in Madeira, Portugal. I Immigrated here to Toronto with my family when I was but a wee tike of almost four.

Is Joey DAMMIT! a sort of stage name? Or is this your real name?

Oh yeah... completely my real name. NO! Of course it’s not my real name. I consider it more of an alter-ego, more like a Superman/Clark Kent thing. Being a marketing/self-promo whore, I realized that DAMMIT! ("last name ALWAYS in CAPS with an EXCLAMATION MARK!" he forever reminded me) would always stand out in print, and let me tell you…people remember the name better than …I dunno, Kowalski.

Did you grow up knowing that art was something you wanted to pursue?

Kinda...I knew from the age of 5 or 6 that I wanted, more like, HAD to be famous…rock star…writer…actor...artist. In fact why not all of them at the same time? I recall, watching, at a very young age, what must have been a mini-series of some kind on Leonardo DaVinci on TV. From that point on I knew that I wanted to do everything creative, be a Renaissance man like good ol' Leo. The funny thing is, and it's really quite ironic considering everything, and everybody thinks I'm just pulling their leg whenever I say this, but I was an altar boy who really did have every intention of becoming a priest.

So, what happened to your calling?

Puberty. At first anyway. I mean, what?! No women?! No sex?! Ahhhh, yeah... Adios Mon Signor! Soon after, it didn't take long to see just how much of a fairy tale, how hypocritical, how dumb this supernatural crap that we call religion really is. Look, don't get me started.

OK, next question then. What artists inspired you? Which artists excited you most?

I was certainly inspired by comic book artists first. “Fine artists”...and I so hate that term...only started influencing me in the last decade or so. Dave McKean's Sandman covers, Nick Bantock's Griffen & Sabine trilogy , film makers like David Fincher and David Lynch. I mean the opening credits of Fincher's film, "Seven", is so much more thrillingly creative to me than anything I've seen at the MOMA. Any time I'm in a creative funk, I put on that DVD, and watch the opening credits over and over again. Also, music, especially the work of Trent Reznor, with or without Nine Inch Nails, influenced me tremendously. If you listen to what Reznor did with the soundtrack to the film, "Natural Born Killers"? It's the audio version of my art work. Exactly like it. It's musical collage...Manic Montage.

So no one artist’s work struck and had the most impact on you?

No...not just one. I mean an artist should be influenced by many artists, you know, variety, spice o' life and all that. They should be influenced by all that surrounds them. Most people spend their lives sleep walking 95% of the time. Wake up...look, listen, touch. Who are my favourite artists? Ralph Steadman, Dave McKean, Robert Rauschenberg, Jean- Michel Basquiat, Francis Bacon, Andy Warhol and Caravaggio…but again, the art of cinema really influenced my vision and my art more.

How would you describe your images?

"Dark -Tongue in Cheek- Chaos Collage-Pop Art!" I mean, I hate labels in general, but if I have to, that'll do just fine.

What techniques are you using in your art pieces? I notice some great textures and collages.

It seems that with every show I do, I throw in a new technique or two. Too many artists find a certain style that they get known for, get comfortable with, and then never, ever move forward again. That's just plain playing it safe, and playing it safe should never go hand in hand with any art form. Me, I want to keep growing, or I would die of boredom. I love texture, layers and layers of collage. My work is really getting much more ambitious, for a lack of a better word. 3-D galore on the new stuff I’m working on, and I don’t mean like Avatar. I get bored very easily, I guess that's where the Renaissance man thing comes in. With mixed media, anything goes, thus, boredom never enters the picture. I use my own paintings or drawings, manipulated photocopies, collage, thickly layered posters that I carve off of street posts and construction sights. Textiles, t-shirts, and I'm really getting into adding found objects...oh, and I have always loved Catholic icons. Acrylics, oils, water colours, pastels - even my good old Crayolas are broken out occasionally. Fun? Wow!

What is your mission or goal when it comes to your work? What impact do you want it to have on people?

Most importantly, I want to entertain the viewer. I’ve always maintained that I’m as much an entertainer as I am an artist. I know...I know...that'll get the art snob's/purist's knickers all in a bind, but looking at one of my paintings should be like watching a film in a theatre. There is so much to look at, that even if you stare at it for hours, you’ll always find something new, something you never noticed before. My mission? Hmmmm...I want to be rich and famous while I'm still alive. I think I hear the purists whining again. To have enough in my bank account, that on a whim I can take a bunch of my friends off to Paris for dinner and drinks. Now, if anyone is thinking that I'm not "serious" about my art, well, they'd better think again. I'm as serious about it as you are, oh you long suffering, tragic, starving artist. The great writer Harlan Ellison said it best; "The meaning of life is doing something that you love so much, that you would do it for free, yet get paid handsomely to do it." Ditto. Look, I'm far from rich...far, but I've hit a point in my career that I can make a living doing just my art work. No full or part time job. I can pay the rent, the bills, put food in my fridge, and still have a little left to pay my bar tab. Don't listen to them kids! There is nothing romantic about being a starving artist! Unless you're still living in the '20's in Paris, that is.

Do you have a studio that you work in? Whereabouts?

I truly am the luckiest man alive. I live in a very large high rise, in my favourite neighborhood in Toronto, The Annex. Well, one day the superintendent, knowing I was looking for a larger space, took me down to the catacombs of the building. He showed me this area that used to be the gym, swimming pool, party room, even very old saunas in the mens and ladies rooms. Right out of a David Lynch dream sequence. It had caved in ceilings, rubble everywhere, like Berlin right after World War II. He said, if you wanna clean it up a bit, it's yours. Really? A free, humongous studio?! Like I said, luckiest man alive. I call it, El Corazon Negro de Diablo Studio, and that would make total sense if you knew the full address. And no, I'm not gonna let you print it.

I know you have had a long history with depression, and you don't seem to be at all afraid to shout about it. Trying to destroy that stigma, are you?

Yup! That stigma doesn't stand a chance. The sooner people stop being so afraid to voice this thing, the sooner we can nip the fucker in the bud. I notice it's getting easier now that a lot of celebrities are coming out of their mental health closet. That's why I love being connected with the Mood Disorders of Ontario, and Workman Arts. I'm over three years depression free, and honestly, never felt better in my life.

Speaking of which, you're involved with that annual Touched By Fire show at the Royal Ontario Museum, correct?

I've been on the Touched By Fire planning commitee right from it's debut show at the Gladstone Hotel in 2007. I am amazed, and yes, very proud, that within it's four year history it's moved on up to the prestige of the ROM. Honestly, I don't think any of us on the committee saw it coming. Not at this speed anyway. I think the secret to it's success is two pronged. The amazing people on the committee, it's really become a very tight family. Incredible how much sweat and passion they put into this event every year.Then there's the artists, who suffer from all sorts of mood disorders, and hundreds of them submit pieces for this juried show. You can't imagine how hard it is for some of these people to just try to get out of bed some days, believe me, I know. Yet, they find the strength somewhere, to create, photograph, and submit this amazing work.

It's become a passion for me, in fact I give the show, the people that all help make it such a success, full credit for the sudden disappearance of my depression. I believe this "something" finally gave me a purpose. Giving artists with mood disorders a chance to show in a gallery setting, in an iconic venue, where 700 people can see, and buy your art, is one of the greatest feelings a person can come away with.

And Workman Arts?

Same thing can be said about Workman Arts, and the fine folk over there. Incredible people who really, really care about people who suffer with mental health and addiction. I'm on their Visual Arts advisory board, and I get to not only show in their own annual art event, "Being Scene", which is actually a traveling art exhibition that usually can go for the full year, but I also get a chance to do some public speaking. Called, "REVELATIONS:Living Experiences with Mental Illness/Addiction and Creative Genius", It gives me, and a handful of other Workman Arts artists a chance to travel from one audience to another talking about our personal stories, our creativity, and successes. They're even giving me the chance to be an instructor of my own course called, "The Manic Montage & Chaos Collage". It'll be a 6 week course where I not only teach other artists the process of what I do, where they get to create their own collage works, but also a history lesson on the imprint of collage in art history. They have no idea what they're getting themselves into!

Wow! Busy Boy.

Yeah. Maybe too busy. I have a terrible habit of always saying yes to every project offered me. That habit has cost me of late. I haven't had a solo show of new works since April of 2010. I mean that's how I make most of my living, so my new year's resolution was, is to say "NO" much more often. You know who you are, and you have been warned.

So, can I ask if you have a new show coming up?

The answer is yes. Actually I'm about to get started on the very first piece for this show called, "ALL ABOUT EVE". It's not a pure solo show, it's a two person show with a friend, and terrific artist, Lorette C. Luzajic. She also works in collage, but our style's are very different. That should make for an interesting, and great looking show. I should have started on the new pieces a while ago, but I had to finish a few commissions first. One for a very well known celebrity...but don't ask, I can't tell you...yet. Believe it or not, I actually have been sworn to secrecy. I've been lucky enough to get quite a lot of commissions in my career, and you just don't turn them down. Not only do these personal pieces pay well, but it's always more of a challenge. You HAVE to please the client. I've also been very lucky that most of my client's let me run with their idea's. They seem to trust me with the finished piece. No complaints so far.

But the new show is certainly the top priority right now. I actually miss the whole process of putting on a new show. You know, coming up with ideas that go with the theme of the show, sketching, creating the pieces, the promo, the media...and the grand opening. And believe me, the openings are always Grand!

So I have to ask, what's the theme of this show?

Let's just say it has something to do with the female nude in art history, thus the title of the exhibit. The theme was actually Lorette's idea, knowing fully well I wouldn't say no to that particular theme of course. Smart dame.

When can we expect this grand opening?

Yikes. Did I mention how stupidly busy I've been? Lorette and I first envisioned it to open on my birthday, Halloween...but considering I'm just getting started on the first new piece, I'd say closer to Christmas, and hey, nothing says "the birth of the baby Jesus" quite as well as hot, naked women, no?

You'll get no argument from me . Let me end it with this question. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Exhibiting in interesting spaces around the world. Living in a nice apartment in Paris, with a fabulous studio loft in New York. Oh, and happily married to Winona Ryder, of course. My soul mate.

-Stephen Tyde

Joey DAMMIT! can be reached at and

Thursday, March 31, 2011


"Hey Joey, you've been kinda quiet, dare I say lax, on the blog front. What up with that homey?"...Yeah, I know, it's been a subject that has been mentioned to me a surprisingly number of times in the last few months. I mean, who woulda thunk it...I have more than 3 readers of this thing? But to answer your question of why I've been so quiet on this front...I really have no idea, Bucky. Yeah, I've been busy as always with all things creative...just started a large 3 month (or more) long retrospective exhibition of my art from 2000 to 2010, called, POP, CULTURE, and FULL FRONTAL NUDITY at Black Line Studio (577 King St. West) in Toronto (kids listen to yo' uncle DAMMIT!, never skip an opportunity for shameless self-promotion...DAMMIT! rule #9 for World Domination!). I was asked if I'd like to do their window display...I said "sure", I mean, Warhol, Robert Rauschenberg, and Jasper Johns all did window displays in New York before fame came a-knocking. I forgot that I was dealing with a very large 20 foot, by 10 foot window. I have never worked so hard...but damn I'm proud of it. It's up for six months, if ya have a chance, go down to the King West neighbourhood, have a gander at the window, and walk into any of the great, local restaurants, and pay 50 bucks for a salad and a beer (I'm just sayin'...)!!!!

I do think that is actually a very poor excuse for the lack of my special brand of post-modernist literature, that I spew here. My best guess...laziness. A sin I've never been accused of know, maybe a case of the winter blahs. Not very motivated to tell ya the fact as I type this, I haven't the faintest on what this entry is gonna be about (some of you have already guessed that, haven't you? Smug bastards!). Sooooooooo....hows about we do one of those stream of consciousness kinda things...whatever comes to my mind...whatever is pissing me off...makin' me glad I'm get my drift, right? I'm tellin' ya, this could be blog gold...or a big piece of doggy poo. Shall we begin???

Like almost everyone I know, I am royally pissed off that we Canadians are off on yet another Federal election! What? Fourth one in seven years??!!! You gotta be kiddin' me! I mean you gotta be a complete moron (or NOW magazine, and it's loyal sheep/readers) to not know that it's gonna end up like the last two elections...A Tory minority. Look...Harper is a crook, corrupt to the core... you just have to look into his beady, spinning eyes to know he's a-keepin' a lot of secrets from the people...and what's with the Final Net hair, and ironing board stiffness? Still, the rest of the country is not downtown Toronto (don't gimme secretly wish you lived here in the only great and important city in this whole country)...we'll never vote for the Conservatives, but the rest of the country love him, and will certainly vote for him. Look, truth be told, the ruling party usually has nothing to do with it when escaping a world wide crash in the economy. But Canadians don't know that. All they know is that we came out smelling like roses compared to so many other countries. Most still have money in their wallets, a job, and a solid roof over their head...or let's put it this way, "IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT THE ECONOMY STUPID!"

Is it just me, or can you never get enuff of that talking baby in those Etrade commercials? MORE TALKING BABY! MORE TALKING BABY!...Pissed off that I can't come up with a great scheme to get all my Facebook friends to hand over 5 bux (the win a date with Joey DAMMIT! silent auction didn't go over as well as I thought it would), so that I can spend this spring in Paris...Put my name on the video store's waiting list to rent season 4 of Mad Men, which came out yesterday. Me thinks that their list is a long one. Guess I'll have to continue fantasizing about that threesome with January Jones and Christina Hendricks...Happy that I live in the greatest country in the world, even if it is run by a very stiff, corrupt, evil Emperor...Why? All you gotta do is watch the news and see what's happening in every other country. Do you people know what the biggest story in all of Toronto media is? Oh...the Maple Leafs might still sneak into the Stanley Cup play offs!!! I kid ya not.

Very happy for my musical hero Trent Reznor, who wisely put his Nine Inch Nails into a retirement home, so that he could finally spread his musical wings, and not be held back by Industrial music, and lyrics about his impending suicide, or wanting to "fuck you like an animal". The man rightfully won a well deserved Oscar for his brilliant score for The Social Network. He looks pretty dapper in that tux too...and a hot wife to boot. Well done....Intensely happy that I have my choice of thousands of DVDs at my sticky fingertips. Yup, my Wall O' Movies comes in handy, especially since I don't have HBO (or the like), and I would be stuck watching nothing but Charlie Sheen, and his boring/predictable/fake/money making machine/suckin' you in- rants! Hey, get this...on my never ending, life long quest to be seen, and called, a Renaissance Man (blame the Leonardo da Vinci: Artist, Scientist, Philosopher, Genius documentary I watched when I was 8 or 9), I am now gonna add art teacher to my ever bulging CV. Workman Arts have asked me to teach an 8 week, class/workshop to other Workman Arts arteests on how to create my style of artwork. The course, called, MANIC MONTAGE & CHAOS COLLAGE, runs thru May and June of this year. I actually get paid very well for it...class #1, how many shots of tequila should one down before starting on their canvas.

I poo-pooed it away at first when a friend mentioned this, but me thinks she has a valid point. The quite important observation is this; Have you noticed that both here, and in the States, the Conservatives have by far the hotter looking female politicians??!!! It's true... I mean, logically you'd think the more Liberal the sexier the clothing, etc....but Noooooooooooooo... Thank gOD, I still consider brains, an important, and very sexy quality in a woman! This last detail will no doubt bother Tea Party members, who have gone on record as saying that intellect is vastly overrated. Sorry Sarah. get all those year end, list makers off my back (not even one person actually...Ouch!), here are my Top Ten Films of 2010:
  3. 127 HOURS
  8. HOWL
All very good films...but all in all...Jeez...crappy year for movies! Had to scrape some to get even those ten...

You've probably read/heard all the rave reviews for BILLY ELLIOT, the musical that has just opened here in Toronto. Maybe it's that I hate musicals with an extreme passion (second only to the Religious Right...Cabaret the play and the film excluded), but why, is the simple thought of just sitting through 5 minutes of this theatrical tour de force, make me certain that I would prefer being repeatedly water boarded by Dick Cheney?...Hey, I love ya to pieces PBS, and I love your show, American Masters...BUT GLEN FUCKING GOULD WAS CANADIAN!!!!! GOT IT??!!!!

Sheeeeee-it! Think my mood disorder must be acting up...or something...CBC News Network keeps telling me every 5 minutes that the whole country has something called ROYAL WEDDING FEVER!!!! Really???? Hmmmmmm...Do you????? I don't even have ROYAL WEDDING SORE THROAT!...I had to stop buying Rolling Stone the last few years, they have had many award winning articles...great writers and journalists...But what's with these fucking covers???? I am not gonna get on the subway, reading a magazine with Justin Beiber, or the cast of True Blood, or even more recently Snookie, or whatever the bimbo's name is from that Jersey Shore show. A show I proudly have never watched. " So, how can you judge a show that you've never seen Joey? Huh???"...well Bucky...I don't have to set myself on fire to know that I'm gonna get burned...and it's gonna hurt like Hell! I'm sorry, but the book, or magazine you're reading on public transit (I know..I know..." you have a cell phone???) says so much about do shoes of course...The kind of shoes you wear in the outside world speaks volumes about you. If you know me, you know you won't see me in sneakers/running shoes, unless I'm going for a run, or heading to my studio to paint. I have to agree with novelist/journalist, and Canada's most stylish man, Russell Smith. In his men's style column in the Globe and Mail, he proclaimed, "running shoes should only be worn at the gym" (and working in your studio). AGREED!!!! So buddy...yeah, you in that really nice Kenneth Cole suit...take off your fucking Converse already!!!!!!

Now...I could go on, but how on Earth can you top a post that ends with..." So buddy...yeah, you in that really nice Kenneth Cole suit...take off your fucking Converse already!!!!!!"...You can't!


Photo by Barry Shainbaum