OH UMA!!! I remember when the brilliant film Dangerous Liaisons was first released in 1988 , I was very interested in going out and seeing it. Great story...Lust, Seduction, Revenge (what's not to like)! Great cast...John Malkovich, Glenn Close and the yummy Michelle Pfeiffer! Great director...Stephen Frears! Plus I had read a rave review of the film in Movie Line magazine, that also mentioned a certain young actress named Uma Thurman, and a great scene in which this up and comer's breasts are revealed. The critic noted that the whole audience let out a gasp during the screening because of the wondrous orbs that this Uma possessed. I ran, not walked to the theatre!!!
So, last night on FakeBook, because, as usual I couldn't sleep...I did one of their supremely stupid polls. This one with the mega-cerebral title of something like: "5 HOT PEOPLE"...so I put down five names, not including the "Too Hot Already...Stop It!" Megan Fox (but God...she is SO Fucking Hot!!!!!)! I listed Grace Kelly (maybe the most beautiful woman who ever lived), Selma Hayek ( I just want to see her and Penelope Cruz do it...I'll pay anything you ask Selma!), Rita Hayworth ('nuff said), Kate Beckinsale (who just may be replacing Megan as the hottest babe in the world at this moment)...and UMA!
Sooooo...along comes my good friend, fellow film lover, and a great filmmaker in his own right (ya see what I'm doing, right? I want a love scene with one of his hot actresses in his next film), JaiDixit. He comments on how much he agrees with my Hot list...but poo-poos Uma. Now, I figure it out right away...the man hates Tarantino films! Now, personally I can't stand Tarantino as a human being...we had a run in a while ago in a restaurant...Biggest Asshole Ever...but that's another blog, but I sure do luvs his movies (most of them anyway)...in fact Inglorious Bastards is still my favourite film this year. But, back to Jai...so that would explain why he's dissing the gorgeous Ms. Thurman! Fine!
NOT FINE! So, because I have to ALWAYS be right (as a lot of you already know)...I wrote Mr. Dixit a rebuttal in today's FakeBook status report. It goes as follows........ "ahem-hem...Mr.Jai Dixit, UMA THURMON NOT HOT!!!??? Jai, put away your Star Trek Mega-Fab Box-Set DVD for a moment, put on the brilliant Dangerous Liaisons. The scene in which John Malkovich seduces the virgin Uma(GULP)...he tears open her blouse to reveal THE BEST BREASTS to ever appear on the silver screen!!! The whole audience in the theatre GASPED all at the same time. I've never heard anything like it! UMA IS HOT!!!"......SO THERE...Poooooey on you. And it's true, it happened in my audience as it did at the Movie Line critics screening...everyone gasped at the splendor that is Uma Thurman's great, bodacious Ta-Ta's!!!!!
That Jai, is why Uma is in MY Top 5 Hotties!!!! Anyone that is asked to portray Venus, as she did in the great Terry Gilliam's film, The Adventures of Baron Munchausen has to be HOT!!!
Jai, please don't take this personal...you're a great guy, I like drinking pints with you, I loved your last film, It Happens Incredibly Fast (I hope I got that right! I'm not just trying to score brownie points here, it really is good), you own one of the best paintings I've ever done, and most importantly...you owe me a wad of cash, but c'mon...ALL I AM SAYING IS GIVE UMA'S BREASTS A CHANCE!!!...everybody now...SING!
Joey DAMMIT!
You're funny, Honey! UMA...UMA...UMA.
ReplyDeletelove you. Bye. xx Kitty
just testing this Joey...how dare you you forget my breasts that have caused civilizations to rise and fall; given hope to desperate men, and can potentially cause complete peace on earth or total destruction?? love you darling, talk later
ReplyDeletekcramone